It all makes sense now.

Various Hikus. (American, not Japanese so it's 3-5-3)

Pants are tight.
Berry in grapefruit.
Babe, not chub.

Time to feed.
I need to eat now.
Blarg. Urpy.

Ate too much.
Bloated like crazy.
Same all day.

Time for bed.
Thirsty, so I drink.
Have to pee.

Boobs so big!
Support the ladies.
Waking pain.

Three A.M.
Nature wakes me up.
Damn the light.